Well-Meaning Emotions Can Block Loved Ones From Quality Senior Care

As professional senior home care providers, we’ve seen firsthand how strong emotional responses can block aging loved ones from getting the support and level of care required to age safely and independently in place.

How Emotions Get In The Way Of What We Need

While emotions should always be considered in any significant decision-making process, there is also much to be said about the importance of keeping an objective point of view. As we age, or as the ones we love age, it gets harder and harder to see the forest for the trees. 

Several thoughts, beliefs, or emotions hinder creating long-term care plans or proactively preventing some of the most common risks associated with age. Here are some of the most common well-meaning or well-intentioned thoughts contributing to unfortunate life-altering changes or injuries that could have been prevented.

We’ll modify our house when we need it

There is no magical moment that you “need” to modify your house to safely age in place. Age-related changes in vision, mobility, strength, cognition, etc., are usually gradual. Unfortunately, this means people don’t usually modify their house when they should, and accessible modifications happen after the fact, when life or physical abilities may be permanently compromised.

If we had our way, accessible or universal home designs would be the rule - rather than the exception. But, since they’re not, we recommend making these changes as an empowered and proactive way to protect your independence, safety, and well-being for years or decades to come. That way, the remodeling or changes you make are tastefully included in your home design - rather than being installed hastily and as an afterthought during an emergency.

My mom/dad was fine into their 90s, so I will be, too

Genetics plays a role in how we age, but many other uncontrollable factors come into play when we look at aging and how age-related declines affect daily life. Again, these changes occur gradually and can be difficult to notice until something significant occurs (like a car accident, a slip/fall, or a hospital stay requiring longer-term rehabilitation).

Rather than assuming you’ll live completely energetic, able-bodied, and immune to aging, make a long-term care plan that accommodates a range of scenarios. If you never use it, great. However, if you - or your family - need it, it’s there to represent your wishes and needs.

My younger spouse/children/grandchildren will take care of that

Here is another emotional myth that gets in the way of proper long-term care planning. It’s the idea that others will be there to take care of you how you want to be taken care of. In fact, depending on the scenario leading up to you needing care, lack of a care plan takes its toll on your spouse or family caregivers - often leading to tension, fights, or disagreements that make it impossible for you to have what you need in place.

Taking the time to create a safe space for aging-in-place and a thorough long-term care plan with details around finances and what you need/want in terms of care goes a long way towards preventing family upset.

I’m just fine (or mom/dad is just fine), and I don’t need help (despite all the evidence to the contrary)

One of the benefits of discussing aging and which support to have at the ready when it’s needed is that all parties can agree around the signs indicating “It’s time” to activate extra support. This feeling of “I’m fine” or “They’re fine” goes both ways. Sometimes, it’s the aging loved one who’s resistant to care, while other times, it’s family or loved ones who have a hard time accepting the truth.

In either case, it’s good for the family to discuss the signs professionals use to determine whether more support is needed for seniors to remain in their homes. This includes things like:

• They seem more unstable on their feet, have had recent trips/falls, or seem to have more bumps and bruises than usual (time for mobility support).
• Stairs are more difficult (building ramps and creating a single-story living space downstairs).
• Refrigerators or cupboards are bare, contain few fresh ingredients, or have lots of expired items. You may also notice unusual weight loss or lack of energy, indicating malnourishment. (enslist meal support).
• Medication prescriptions are used up before they should be or are still full when it’s time to fill them - all signs they’re not taking meds as prescribed (initiate a medication management system).
• They’re showing signs of dementia (this requires immediate attention from their physician and a care plan should be put in place ASAP.
• The car shows evidence of recent fender-benders, or they’ve been involved in an at-fault car accident (learn how to convince seniors to retire the keys).
• They’re showing signs of depression, anxiety, or unusual emotional instability (this can indicate a range of issues, from malnourishment and lack of sleep to social isolation or unprocessed grief). 
• Signs of neglect or being unkempt, such as strong smells of body odor or unmanaged incontinence (some form of home caregiving - even if it’s part-time - is probably needed at that point)

Any of these signs indicate it’s time to implement a care plan. Consulting with a professional caregiver agency allows you to learn and hear from experienced senior caregivers without any obligation. From there, you can determine what steps should be put in place and have support creating a personalized long-term care plan.

I’m so overwhelmed and exhausted; I can’t make another decision

We mentioned that age-related changes happen so slowly over time that people miss the moment it’s time to begin implementing a graduated long-term care plan. The same concept is true for spouses and family caregivers. At first, taking on more of the driving and errand running wasn’t such a big deal since you are running all over town with kids anyway, and neither was the prescription refilling, bill paying, and keeping up with medical appointments. 

Then, meals needed to be prepared, and schedules were rearranged so you could help drive your loved one to their social engagements and outings. Then, before you knew it, housekeeping needs and extra laundry were thrown into the mix, and you decided it was time to stay over more often to ensure your loved one was safe at night (if you’re the spouse, you may have even altered your sleep schedule to keep watch on a restless or wandering partner).

Caregiver fatigue leads to burnout, and that is when everything falls apart. Enlisting the support of professional caregivers as part of a respite care plan (in the beginning) and making future plans for part-time care, overnight assistance, as well as full-time or live-in care options provides invaluable peace of mind - not to mention optimized quality of life.

HomeAide Home Care Provides No-Obligation Information About Senior Care

Do you suspect that high emotions - your own and/or your loved ones - are blocking the ability to see what’s needed and what’s not to keep them safe at home? We understand because HomeAide Home Care supports families like yours every day.

Schedule a FREE, no-obligation consultation and take advantage of our vast knowledge about senior care plans. We’ll let you know our observations and recommendations for keeping your loved ones safe and independent at home while ensuring they’re well cared for and that family caregivers have all the support they need. We look forward to showing you what a difference it makes when you bring in the care you need to live the life you want.